The unavoidable D-word
Door: Tim
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30 Januari 2012 | India, Jaipur
Snakes and ladders is originally an Indian game. I'd like to say I learned that here in India but I have Amsterdam's Tropenmuseum to thank for that little nugget of wisdom. The game is well over 500 years old and was originally intended to teach children about vices and virtues. Land on a square that says, for example, "generosity", and you get to climb a ladder from where you are to a position higher on the board. Snakes work the other way around. Land on the head of a snake and you slide all the way back down where you were before. These squares would be marked "vanity", "rage" or "disobedience". Or in my case, "diarrhea".
It was my own fault really. You can't skimp out on karma.
The town of Pushkar is all about the sacred lake that lies in its center. Surrounded by 400 temples, it is a place of quiet contemplation and introspection. Except it's not. As soon as you visit the lake, somebody thrusts some flowers at you. Now the first thing you learn in Asia is there's no such thing as free stuff. The bill always comes afterwards and if you haven't agreed on a price, you leave it up to them to decide how much the item or service in question was worth. So obviously I refused at first and kept on walking. But when three men frantically start shouting at you like you've just carved yourself a nice, juicy steak out of one of their holy cows, what are you supposed to do? If there's one thing Indians have become adept at capitalizing on, it's a backpacker's fear of being culturally insensitive. And so you find yourself sitting at a lake with your flowers, repeating mantra's with some guy who might be but probably isn't a priest. It wasn't so much that he didn't have the look down - holy men here wear robes and epic beards - it was the fact that he stared off in the distance for most of the prayer - while not checking his cellphone.
Needless to say, I didn't get my spiritual fix. So when the unavoidable subject of a "donation" came up, I wasn't too keen. He insisted it was for my family and suggested a figure of 30 to 40 dollars. I assured him my family wasn't worth that much, gave him 100 rupees (2 euro) for his time and went on my merry way. But not before receiving India's trademark red smudge on the forehead. You know the kind. The one that says "Behold! I am now a child of India! My spiritual enlightenment makes me better than you!".
So, clearly, I had only myself to blame when, later that day, my digestive tract decided to turn itself inside out. Me and some people at the hostel had decided to climb up to a temple about an hour's hike up a hill and it wasn't until we stood admiring the view that the first cramps announced themselves. Fortunately the second thing you learn in Asia is always carry toilet paper. I was directed to a concrete cubicle behind the temple where I had easily the most spiritual experience that day.
Diarrhea is pretty much a fact of life here in India. According to Lonely Planet 30 tot 70% of travelers get it. (Really Lonely Planet, that's as specific as you could get?) To Indians, hygiene is like krumping. A fad that never really caught on. So if the spicy food doesn't get you, there's always rancid meat, off milk or contaminated water to do the trick. So nothing serious, right? But once you've spent a night getting up every hour to go to the bathroom, you're about ready to throw in the towel (just an expression. Although I did get dangerously close to running out of toilet paper) and when you discover blood, you know you have something special on your hands (again, just an expression).
And so I've moved back a square. To Jaipur. Where a nice doctor has given me some antibiotics. I was already feeling a lot better yesterday so tomorrow I will roll the dice once more.
And pray for ladders.
It was my own fault really. You can't skimp out on karma.
The town of Pushkar is all about the sacred lake that lies in its center. Surrounded by 400 temples, it is a place of quiet contemplation and introspection. Except it's not. As soon as you visit the lake, somebody thrusts some flowers at you. Now the first thing you learn in Asia is there's no such thing as free stuff. The bill always comes afterwards and if you haven't agreed on a price, you leave it up to them to decide how much the item or service in question was worth. So obviously I refused at first and kept on walking. But when three men frantically start shouting at you like you've just carved yourself a nice, juicy steak out of one of their holy cows, what are you supposed to do? If there's one thing Indians have become adept at capitalizing on, it's a backpacker's fear of being culturally insensitive. And so you find yourself sitting at a lake with your flowers, repeating mantra's with some guy who might be but probably isn't a priest. It wasn't so much that he didn't have the look down - holy men here wear robes and epic beards - it was the fact that he stared off in the distance for most of the prayer - while not checking his cellphone.
Needless to say, I didn't get my spiritual fix. So when the unavoidable subject of a "donation" came up, I wasn't too keen. He insisted it was for my family and suggested a figure of 30 to 40 dollars. I assured him my family wasn't worth that much, gave him 100 rupees (2 euro) for his time and went on my merry way. But not before receiving India's trademark red smudge on the forehead. You know the kind. The one that says "Behold! I am now a child of India! My spiritual enlightenment makes me better than you!".
So, clearly, I had only myself to blame when, later that day, my digestive tract decided to turn itself inside out. Me and some people at the hostel had decided to climb up to a temple about an hour's hike up a hill and it wasn't until we stood admiring the view that the first cramps announced themselves. Fortunately the second thing you learn in Asia is always carry toilet paper. I was directed to a concrete cubicle behind the temple where I had easily the most spiritual experience that day.
Diarrhea is pretty much a fact of life here in India. According to Lonely Planet 30 tot 70% of travelers get it. (Really Lonely Planet, that's as specific as you could get?) To Indians, hygiene is like krumping. A fad that never really caught on. So if the spicy food doesn't get you, there's always rancid meat, off milk or contaminated water to do the trick. So nothing serious, right? But once you've spent a night getting up every hour to go to the bathroom, you're about ready to throw in the towel (just an expression. Although I did get dangerously close to running out of toilet paper) and when you discover blood, you know you have something special on your hands (again, just an expression).
And so I've moved back a square. To Jaipur. Where a nice doctor has given me some antibiotics. I was already feeling a lot better yesterday so tomorrow I will roll the dice once more.
And pray for ladders.
-
30 Januari 2012 - 09:45
Gijs:
Too much info! Klinkt ondanks enige beren op de weg toch wel weer als een mooi avontuur TimH! Het lijkt me een krankzinnig land India, maar aan de andere kant is het wel aan jou besteed ;-) Wanneer vertrek je naar Thailand? Ik ben hoogstwaarschijnlijk vanaf 28 februari t/m 20 maart in Maleisie. Dus wie weet nog een kleine reunie aldaar met Der Hanz. Hoe dan ook een goed vaart! -
30 Januari 2012 - 12:06
Ladders:
May the force of the Ladder God be upon you! :-) -
30 Januari 2012 - 12:18
Myrthe:
Ah, het klinkt inderdaad alsof je voor ook voor mij aan het genieten bent. Jesus Tim. Dat al die Indiërs achter je aan zitten ligt waarschijnlijk aan het feit dat je je haar hebt geknipt. Nu zie je er te rijk uit.
Het is maar goed dat ik dit nooit geprobeerd heb. Ik zou binnen 24 uur naakt en kaal in een steegje liggen. In een plas van bloed én diaree, niet eens hoofdzakelijk van mezelf. (Not an expression). -
30 Januari 2012 - 12:27
Anka:
I know what you mean ;) it gets really bad when you also have to throw up... gotta love Asia for that! -
30 Januari 2012 - 13:51
San, Loes & Kids:
Zo zie je maar weer wat je er van krijgt als je je familie niet op waarde weet te schatten! God straft meteen!
Fijn dat t iig van korte duur was en dat je nu weer kan genieten van andere dingen dan het Indiase sanitair...
Liefs van je zussen en nichtje en neefje -
30 Januari 2012 - 14:10
Batman:
Klinkt als een doodnormale zondag ochtend in amsterdam! de opdringerige verkopers, diaree, bloed...brings back memories -
03 Februari 2012 - 09:43
Kadelij:
Je stelt je wel een beetje aan Timmeke. Ik ben 2.5 maand in azie geweest en niet eens een beetje een rommelend buikje gehad.
Of ben ik nou gewoon indestructible?
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